Small Break
Hello my non-existent readers. This week I took a break from the shed Thursday through today. I had to for medical readers. I will start it again tomorrow. It will be my 10th day of it, kinda nervous. Tomorrow is also weigh in day. I went to a 1 year old’s birthday party and ate SO MUCH SUGAR. It was such an awesome party, that I indulged. I can’t live my life 100% by the scale, I have to let myself have some fun once in awhile. I just have to learn the balance. Learn the balance. That needs to be my life focus right now.
That is all for now. I just wanted to give an update, and stay loyal to my blog.
Day 6
Every day along this new journey I have in front of me, I’m discovering it’s a learning process. I’m learning new things about myself. Well, I wouldn’t say learning. It’s more like rediscovering. I at one point in my life weighed 170 lbs, that would be my thinnest/healthiest ever & I was still a size 14. Now I’m 241 (as of my last weigh-in) pounds. I’m embarrassed that I am a “yo-yo” dieter & I get thin and then balloon up again. I have HUGE self-confidence issues. I think a lot of that stems from my old color guard instructors that weighed and measured us or my last relationship. Wherever it stems from, I’m NOT comfortable with myself at this size. I am “healthy” now but I’m not happy. I want to shop in normal stores and be able to wear anything. I want to be able to wear a two-piece. I want to be able to wear cute summer clothes without constantly tugging on them to make myself comfortable.
I think I’m at a point where I have to fix myself before I can try to build a relationship with a man. I need to learn to love myself. I need to develop a truly healthy & non-depriving lifestyle. I need to learn that I can eat that cookie I want, but I can’t eat 10 of them. Small things like that can make all the difference. I need to learn to stop comparing myself to my damn friends ( I say that lovingly). I do this ALL the time and it’s just hurting me. I’m not going to be like them, because I am not them. I have a slow metabolism and I’m a big girl. I can’t eat crap all week and still be a size 5. Never going to happen for me. I have to learn to incorporate fitness and healthy eating in my life for the REST of my life. But at the same time I need to find the balance to not obsess over it.
I may sound like I’m repeating myself. But this blog is therapy to me. It’s a way for me to get out my thoughts. Bottom line of today is “learn to love yourself”. That’s what I’m going to work on. I have a huge goal on April 28th, a mini marathon. I’m so nervous, but I have plenty of time to prepare and train, I just have to be smart.
That’s all for today, oh & I did the day 6 of the Shred DVD today!
Kickin’ Ass
Today I woke up around 7am, but I didn’t get out of bed until 7:30. I love love love morning snuggles with my pups. They are so sweet and sleepy at that time. After I got my ass out of bed, I did my Shred DVD. Day 8 was tough, oh wait they are all tough. I still hate the jumping rope part!!!! Pushups are much easier and so is pretty much everything else, except jumping rope.
After I completed my morning date with Jillian, I proceeded to vacuum my whole house and the hard wood floors. Don’t judge, there is a bare floor setting for a reason! Then I changed my guest room sheets for my special visitors tonight. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot this morning. I also feel like a brand new person ever since I’ve signed up for the RnR Half Marathon and started dating working out with Jillian Michaels.
That is all. I’m boring. Have a happy Tuesday <3
rest day
I didn’t do the shred today. Today was just blah for me. But I got through it. My friend Phillip stopped by and we he made dinner for us. We threw together some things I had in my kitchen, and made delicious and HEALTHY burritos. I also mowed my lawn/leaves today! I always feel like such a badass when I do it.
Nom nom healthy breakfast. Trader Joe’s almond butter with banana slices all on top of a weight watchers bagel. LOVE those things!
